Coffee Good, Morning Bad

'... I picked you up and everything changed ...'

Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you 'bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed

2.10am, June 27th 2006 - 6 months ago, our little Tobypie was (finally!) born.

Ben Folds nailed it with the lyrics in 'Still Fighting It'.

'I picked you up and everything changed'.

Every decision  we make is shaped by the presence of this little guy. It's truly unfathomable to anyone without kids. I don't mean that condescendingly. It's not that you can't imagine, as everyone has a good idea that you can't just swan off to the shops when you feel like it and leave the baby in front of the telly, but it's just unfathomable how one small entity doesn't just change your life but makes your life completely different. Nothing about it is the same.

Sometimes I really miss my old life and freedom and that's the hard bit. Wearing handwash clothes. Going out with my husband for a drink in a bar. Going out in the evening. Going out together. Not having a lounge full of brightly coloured plastic. Not knowing what its like to change a nappy at 3am. Wearing heels. Its not that we couldnt do these things but some of them would be ignoring our responsibility as parents, some of them are difficult to arrange and some just forgetting about it makes life much easier.Obviously, Toby has brought something close to magic into our lives. If human biology has anything akin to the supernatural, its how - despite the waking, the sleep deprivation, the days where the crying and whining really begins to grate at you - you love this little being with everything you have, beyond what you knew was possible.

But, there is no better contraception than a baby. We've both had moments where we said to each other 'can you imagine if we had a baby with anyone else?'.

We've come a long way, baby. 6 months of growth in every way.

Toby LOVES wrapping paper

Toby LOVES wrapping paper, originally uploaded by RellyAB.

Merry Wotsit. Still braindead from cooking wotsit dinner yesterday.

Toby's table manners didn't impress his first dinner date.

Toby's table manners didn't impress his first dinner date., originally uploaded by RellyAB.

Some more obligatory baby lovin'.
I have to confess I had one of those 'holy crap, my baby's not a little baby anymore' moments today.
Today he's been sat upright most of the time, or bouncing in his activity bouncy music playing plastic singing dancing -urgh- thing. When he hasn't been doing that he's been eating ricecakes with sweet potato, drinking from a sippy cup for the first time, and trying out a spoon.

Some of my online mummy pals are mourning the 'loss' of their newborn (and it does feel that way, because they go before you even notice they were here) but I feel mostly relief. Newborn was not fun for me. Now he's happy, smiley, more sociable I think its easier.

People say his mummy is the centre of his universe, but I think he honestly has equal love for his mummy, daddy, childminder and my childminder's little boy. These people make up his universe and right now he's happy with all of us. He knows his childminder is interesting, her little boy is *fascinating* to him, daddy is full of tickles and giggles and rough and tumble and mummy provides the cuddles when he is feeling sad or poorly or tired and grumpy.

I get him when he's feeling at his worst most of the time and it can be a bit thankless. But, at the same time, there isn't anything more special than being the person someone vunerable turns to and trusts to make the world better even if its just by being there.

clear:left, the gingerbread barber's shop quartet

clear:left, the gingerbread barber's shop quartet, originally uploaded by RellyAB.

My husband works with (indeed, latterly solely *for*) these lovely chaps. In real life they have proper bodies, not just squidgy iced gingerbread ones. I have in fact probably done their credibility as the creme de le creme in website doohickery no favours at all (or by calling it website doohickery for that matter - put it down to my ignorance, I know they are very very good at the doohickery they do do. Oh, nevermind) by making them in gingerbread.

It was 2am, I'd been baking all day and it made me laugh.

I'm a bit worried they might think I'm odd. Especially as I gave them their gingerbread people in a box of Christmas cakes, out of the blue. Or more precisely I sent Paul in with them.

Perhaps I should be handing out cards as well - 'I don't get much chance to get out these days so baking cakes is my equivalent of saying 'hello, it must be my round ...''.

Actually, I think its the decoration that makes it so scary. I managed to make them look like Westlife.

:((

Let them eat cake!

Jeremy photographing Relly's cake, originally uploaded by clagnut.

I think by using this photo I'm technically stealing it, so my apologies to Richard Rutter. I'll send you a big cake to make up for it. Oh, wait ... that'll just go a bit groundhog day ...

ETA: yay, I'm no longer stealing the image as it has now got a Creative Commons license.
Just for the record, I don't steal people's photos regularly so don't feel you have to lock up your negatives if I pop round. Otherwise I'd feel obliged to hand out cake everywhere.

Anyway, I made a spice cake last night. It looks pretty much like the one you see here. That's because it is the one here! It's a bundt tin recipe (ie, one that should be light and fluffy) but as I put it in a springform it will be a little more stodgy, and well, filling.Its based on a traditional Christmas recipe - brown sugar, cloves cinnamon, ginger and mixed spice as all good Christmas recipes should. I also glazed it and added the cut out stars because I'm all about the bling (and triangles, but it's Christmas so shapes formed of triangles will have to do).

I like baking very much, testing out new recipes and such, but sadly Nice Boy likes eating cake *far* too much. So no-one is more delighted than me that his waistline will be saved by me just sending him with some baked goods to the office to share out.

What I save on buying him new trousers in ever increasing sizes can go back into my baking equipment collection, so everyone wins!

Peek-a-boo, I see you!

Peek-a-boo, I see you!, originally uploaded by RellyAB.

Okay a gratuitous baby shot but sometimes you gotta pimp out your assets. My best asset at the moment is my baby boy. I'm not sure if that's actually a statement I want to make but it is the truth, so here you go.

Toby and mirrors are great. Even if he is having a full on paddy you can carry him past a mirror and he'll always stop, grin at himself, and then look all shy that a baby is grinning at him. Then continue yelling.

It's all very well being creative but the tidying up sucks :(

It's all very well being creative but the tidying up sucks :(, originally uploaded by RellyAB.

Sometimes I wish I was a digi-scrapper. Then I remember that it's ill advised to mix paints and laptops and remember why I'm a trad(gic) scrapper. But, oy vey, the idea of trying to get another 20 lumpy-bumpy layouts into page protectors fills me with dread.

Even worse, most of these I haven't photographed yet :(

Post-humous (or 'the death of a decent postal service')

I was going to have a rant about our postman. The useless fecker, who once left my parcel of patterned papers out in the rain for 2 weeks, returning religiously to watch the parcel mould on the doorstep, the one who regularly (even when he knew I was overdue with Toby and thus sporting the approximate dimensions and aerodynamics of a junior killer whale) would shove a card through the door rather than ring and would have me shuffle off to the sorting office to collect a parcel I could barely carry, who still to this day when caught out acts amazed that our doorbell has 'been fixed' (it's never been broken).

Then I discovered that my friend Nicky had already written my Post Office complaint out for me. This at least explains why our respective postmen are so shite. We clearly share the same guy, even though I live in Boring-On-Sea and she lives in the outskirts of Birmingham. No wonder he doesn't pause long at the door.

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas, originally uploaded by RellyAB.

Okay, I don't really want to be known as Scrooge McDuck because I *love* Christmas, despite the fact this year I'm nowhere near as ready as i'd like and i'm blatently going to end up running myself into the ground to get everything done. I haven't even managed any baking yet, and that's my *favourite* bit!

We are about halfway decorated though. Tomorrow I'll share our tree, its a humdinger! Today though is dedicated to finishing the chores, washing, hanging, trying to house 'stuff' (I hate 'stuff' and finally, FINALLY, after being together for nearly 5 1/2 years, my husband is beginning to understand he doesn't need everything he's collected for the last 10 years in boxes in the lounge!!!).

Then tomorrow, we have the nursery carpet fitted. Friday and Saturday, I bake!!!

Toby tries broccoli

Toby licks the broccoli, originally uploaded by RellyAB.

We are a 'baby-led weaning' household. (This basically means more milk/no mush, which is still largely unusual in the weaning world).

Toby has tried out melon which was appreciated, banana which definitely wasn't (but we'll give it a go again in the next few days) and here you can see him gamely slurping at some broccoli.

I have to say, it is a great source of amusement watching him try out new food. Imagine tasting food for the very first time, having never ever tasted anything other than breast/baby milk before.

2 weeks until Christmas

Holy Living Feck.
It's 2 weeks to Christmas.
I'm having 8 people to dinner.
ARRRRRGH.

Okay. That's my panic over. Now I'm going to resolve this issue calmly and in the appropriate manner.
If you need me, I'll be under my duvet until the 26th.

That whooshing noise ...

... referred to by Douglas Adams, in relation to deadlines, is getting a bit deafening. I'm guest designer this month for a lovely scrapbook store, Modscraps but I still have two projects to complete for tomorrow. I'd burn the midnight oil but, frankly, the 'past 9pm oil' is considered a rare enough commodity in this house. If only opec would release a couple of barrels gratis to all new mothers I'm sure the world would be a happier fluffier place.

I'm sure I'll do a Van Gogh tomorrow afternoon and create a last minute work of genius. Or perhaps cut off my ear as a way of asking for an extension?

At least the boy and I have been able to wrap some presents, sort out a baking list for our cookies and make the dining room a dining room again! Woo!

Dear Santa, about your CSS Mastery / ipod nano stocks this year

Dear Santa,

Re: CSS MASTERY / IPOD NANO GIVEAWAY (no ref. number)

I know its been a while since our last correspondence, some 16 years by my calculation, but I actually write to you to on behalf of my small son Toby who shares this blog with me. I'm hoping that statement gets me out of the whole 'naughty or nice' thing (I know about the list and anyone anal enough to check it twice for the name 'Relly Annett-Baker' isn't likely to confuse which side of *that* fence I'm on).

Toby, despite any evidence to the contrary, thinks Daddy would love a copy of CSS Mastery. For one thing, Daddy hasn't got one (although Santa would know better whether Daddy needs one) so that's one less present Mummy needs to think about but, more to the point, the door to Toby's nursery has started sticking and Daddy hasn't got round to fixing it. A good-looking doorstop to impress the casual visitor is what's needed here. Or failing that, a copy of CSS Mastery to use in its place.

If there were any doubt as to the sincerity of our request then do please look at our last blog post made mere days ago. We draw your particular attention to the last paragraph.  If nepotism and /or sycophancy can't win you a prized doorstop, sorry, book then it's a very sad world we live in.

Well then, there doesn't seem to be much else to say. Especially as you made all the emptying sack/ stuffing / hand in stocking gags yourself.

Yours sincerely,

Relly and Toby

P.S. Before anyone accuses us of making nothing more than a 'thinly disguised attempt' to bag ourselves an ipod nano we would refute that absolutely. It is an 'ill disguised attempt'.
P.P.S For future reference, we have recently discovered you can put an ipod shuffle in the pocket of a pair of jeans, wash at 40 degrees, and it will still work. But not shuffle. We are hoping the acquisition of an ipod nano will deflect attention from how we ruined our last year's birthday present.
Thanks

Peripheral vision

Let's be quite upfront about this. I know next to nothing about Web Standards (even if it should or shouldn't be capitalised to be honest). Compared to my acquired knowledge of the incorrect sizing of nappies, or the wash cycles required to get regurgitated milk out of a polycotton shirt, my acquired knowledge of Web 2.0hgodhe'sonaboutbargainstarsandreflectionsagain is pretty much zilch. That's my Nice Boy's arena and I like it that way. Bar strongly recommending the use of triangles and glitter in any of his designs he shows me (it'll be all about the 3-sided bling, Web 3.0 will, mark my words) because that's what I use in my scrapbooks, I stay out of the soup.

Which is a weird place to be. I've known Paul Hammond for years (and his gorgeous wife Amy, too, for that matter), subscribed to the BNM list back when Nice Boy didn't have time to read it to find him new work as it came up, have heard all about various agencies, clients, sites, all sorts throughout London and Brighton. Weathered all kinds of Web Standards (web standards?) related storms. I think its rather like being a racing wife. You know that whatever it is your husband does its frightfully clever and involves lovely things but quite where you come into, apart from dutifully accompanying him to client parties occasionally (the equivalent of trotting round the winners enclosure just after a race) is sort of in limbo.

I have met many genuinely interesting people in my husband's field but I don't really have masses to say to them. Which is a shame. As they are very interesting. And, as such, don't care about the incorrect sizing of nappies and the best wash cycles of polycotton mores the pity. I do occasionally find myself reading blogs by people on my husband's flickr/twitter/rss feeder and then I feel a bit like I'm sort of a web stalker. That's the thing about blogs though, even if their content is generally focussed on topics the blogger is particularly interested in (music / gigs / art/ theatre / web-related stuff) its often opinion, so a lot of individual personality comes through and I love that. If you can write with lucidity of thought and clarity of expression then your blog can teach anyone anything*. Even if their opinion of web design is that 'it should be more glittery and triangular'.

With that in mind, should you be a web standard expert who wishes to know about disposable nappy size then please take into account if your child is above or below the 50th centile line for height, as marked in their red weight book. If they are below the height line but still on or above the 50th centile for weight (also in said book) it is likely the weight range on the nappy packets is incorrect and your baby will have to move up a size sooner than weight alone would recommend. You will frighten yourself by buying nappies for a 4 month old baby only to be confronted with a walking child on the front of the packaging. If in doubt, buy bigger, the tabs move together easier than stretching the nappy (and eventually its explosive contents) around chubby thighs.

Also polycotton washes adequately at 30 degrees normally but with secondary milk, using a non-bio liquid wash, 40 degrees is best.

Equally, new mothers with nappy issues looking for interesting blogs that discuss W/web S/standards related issues, amongst other issues of a similar ilk, might enjoy Andy Budd's blog. His most recent entry, at least of my reading (I mean, I don't stalk my husband's boss's blog, jeez what kind of freak do you think I am? I have polycotton shirts to wash and nappies to buy, you know!!!), was about something that annoys even me - the treatment you get from software companies to whom you have just handed over wodges of cash. His particular dig at Adobe's atrocious customer service is more than justified. Especially the bit about being treated like a thief and pirate just for, dammit, trying to use the program you paid out for.

(Except, of course, I quite like being a pirate wench. Yarrr!)

*Any learning done at my blog is entirely at your own risk. Your knowledge may go down as well as up. Any loans from this or any other blog secured on your intellectual property may effect your IQ rating in the future. For Terms And Conditions read the small print on the inside of your eyelids.

Awww! My gorgeous boys!

Awww! My gorgeous boys!, originally uploaded by RellyAB.

This is my baby brother with my baby son. Are you following? Anyway Graham is home from his big-ass trip around the world and met his nephew for the first time a fortnight ago. Toby looks really like me on the surface, and you can see a lot of his daddy too - can you see a family resemblance with my brother? I think he has Graham's smile (minus the teeth obviously!)

Health, Wealth and erm Stealth

So. I have an underactive thyoid it would seem. All I know is that I haven't felt myself (no sniggering at the back please) for over a year and I'm pretty darned sick of it. At some point I'm sure the sheer joy and gratitude I should be feeling for having such a gorgeous bright star of a little boy will make itself known. Right now? I feel like I've been giving a good kicking after recovering from a particularly nasty virus. Oh, and a sore throat which always makes me tetchy. I am trying very hard not to be bitter but a lot of the fun and joy of this amazing experience has been sucked right away for me.

But (there's always a but) I am incredibly grateful because this is the first Christmas with our little boy, our families are coming to us (ha ha, no enforced sprout eating under *my* roof), and we have enough money or thereabouts to go round.  On a secondary note, I love Clearleft  for being such lovely lovely people and giving my Nice Hubbie lots of work for the last 6 months, putting up with him working odd hours to fit around poorly baby and latterly poorly wife and just generally being scrumptious to him.

And as for the Stealth. I have Hubbie's Christmas presents to wrap and feck me do I hate wrapping. Especially for my naturally good wrapping husband. I'm so awful any other time of year I'd just sling the proffered goods into a giftbag with tissue paper. This year Toby will hopefully being doing a lot of the unwrapping for us (craziness, I'm sure he was only born last week ...) so I'm wrapping everything. Everything else I can hand over to Mr Nice for help, but obviously not his own. Arrrgh. To make matters worse, I've bought him 6 gifts, so 6 things to wrap. Bugger.